my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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