So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
