Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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