Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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