no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't deserve a penis
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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