I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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