I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
