It's Friday. Sex?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
