the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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