you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
MIDGETS
????
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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