I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
