would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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