So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
