$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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