and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
