Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
