You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
