I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
