About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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