Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
