so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
