You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
