He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
