Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize