Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
