His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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