dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize