Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This house was built for laser tag.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
