youre lurking in front of me
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize