is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
