I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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