i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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