Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
