Can i not drive my cunt home
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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