Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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