I want to stick my p in your. b.
Me too!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can't put those talents on a resume
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
