Im at strip club and am horny
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
