just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
