home. puking in laundry basket.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
