just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize