Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
