Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
