I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
