that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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