My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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