I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
