you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
