I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
