i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
