In the future we'll all be gay
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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