didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
