Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
