can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
there is glitter all over my balls
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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