that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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