Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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