Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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