I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
