I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
