I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
