Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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