I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
