it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
