You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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