Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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