Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
